There's no fat people in Ireland

Nothing very exciting happened yesterday, so I apologize. We were all still recovering from the weekend. In the morning we had a reading and discussion with the famous writer and poet Dermot Healy. He's famous mostly in Ireland but some of his books have been made into film scripts. He was a great, cooky old guy who administered practical advice to writers... the kind of advice that seems obvious but that you'd never come up with. He looked a bit like Ernest Hemingway, without the drug problem, I am hoping. If you don't believe me, here is his link:

http://www.gallerypress.com/Authors/Dhealy/dhealy.html

In the afternoon we had workshop. Workshop is more productive when we are talking about my poetry rather than others because many of the other poems suck. I'm not being mean, but they're awful. Then I have to sit and take criticism from these people who write poems about their sneakers and pretend like I value it. If it wasn't for Dianna, I might stab my eyes out with my green pen. Workshop is led by one Irish poet, Moya Cannon, and Sandra Alcosser who lives in Montana but who began the MFA program at SDSU. The later being the one who is adopting Paddy.

http://www.gallerypress.com/Authors/Mcannon/mcannon.html
Moya writes mostly nature poetry but manages to not be cliche as she does it. I don't know how she does it. I suck at it.

http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/189. I have yet to read any of Sandra's poems, but I probably should.

We ordered pizza for dinner last night. The company was called "four star pizza" I guess because it was so good you'd rate it four stars. These advertising geniuses have never been to Chicago. That is for sure!

Then this morning we had a reading by a novelist named Gerard Donavan. He's from Galway, but has been teaching in the states for many years.

http://www.irishwriters-online.com/gerarddonovan.html

sweet leather jacket:

http://www.westcorkliteraryfestival.ie/Lit06/Gerard%20Donovan%20photo.jpg

So far, he's the most "popular" of the fiction writers... I mean his forms and his books are "popular fiction" and I would definitely recommend them to any guy that likes other contemporary fiction, but who might appreciate more literature rather than violence in their novels. He had some great soundbytes including: "Write your ass off everyday." He also informed us that there's no such thing as writer's block. It's just procrastination. So I guess I am a procrastinator.

There is one pompous a-hole in our class (well, there are more than one, but just one in particular for this story) who always likes to challenge the readers who come. I'm not sure if he means to be an a-hole, as some people like this are just socially stunted. (Like he creepily mumbles when he talks like a serial killer.) For example, yesterday he said to the famous, well-celebrated Dermot Healy, "give me an example of European prose that isn't a morality tale." Not "could you please" or "can I ask a question?" and when he says something like this he folds his arms. Like he's a big deal. Like he's an equal to these men/women who are coming to teach us. So today he asked the very sarcastic Gerard Donovan, "you took philosophy, didn't you." and you're right, it's not a question. Then he said, "undergrad, right?" then just nodded his head like a big blowbag. Like he'd just figured out the motivation of this guy's work because it was so textbook undergrad philosophy class. So I said outloud, not very creatively, but loud so he could here it, "WOW! YOU GENIUS!" But give me a break, why are you here if you don't think you need to be taught anything? As I've said before and I'll say it again, "it's not our fault your mother didn't hug you enough, so don't make us deal with the consequences."

And he just walked into the computer lab and is sitting next to me.

This afternoon we had another speaker who goes by the name of Kevin Whelan. He was funny and stereotypically Irish... swore alot, got all red in the face. The books he's written have gotten national acclaim here in Ireland, but he was saying that another American guy wrote the same book he did five years later and is now a millionare. That stinks.

This is a website of someone whose name is the same, but is not him:
http://www.nd.edu/~irishstu/faculty/whelan.html
GO IRISH!

I also met with one of the poetry professors to talk about my poetry. To describe some of them, she used the word "boring." I almost cried. me? boring? That's like the worst insult in the world for me. I strive to be obnoxious, maybe, but never boring. How rude!

The best friend of the week award ends in a tie: Tricia and AMA are tied for first place because Tricia sent me a care package, which I got today, and AMA sent the pink raincoat I forgot and realized when I was at the airport in Chicago.

Congratulations!